Old Bulletins

Old bulletin board
Feb. 7th, 2015
Dear Stan,
I have watched a lot of blood bowl games and have noticed that a lot of different teams are using different shoes, what's your take on this?
Del Orge Murray

Well Mr. Murray, you would like to know how I feel about everyone's shoes. I think we need to get a league wide sponsor. Every team has a weird way of deciding on what shoes to wear. The Walkers for example decide at game time. They come to the field with a bunch of shoes in hand, trying them on the sidelines trying to figure which one has the best fit. The Privateers like their hightops, I feel it doesn't allow for flexibility. The team that really need to work on some system with their shoes are the Shadowblades. They have shoes for leaping, shoes for running, shoes for tackling, shoes for war dancers, shoes, shoes, shoes. You would think it was Berta running that team with all the shoes. The Shadowblades in a recent game were using their tackling shoes for running and at one point had 2 different kind of shoes. Shoes are like a good nog, once you find one you like stick with it, don't keep switching cause all you are going to get is a headache. Now as for a shoe sponsor I think K-Swiss and Kenny Powers should be who we back, just check out this video and I'm sure you will agree.
Thanks for the question Mr. Murray and until next time.
- Stan the man Ditka
Jan. 19th, 2015
Canadian blood bowl
It has come to my attention that we have been playing this game all wrong. We are in Canada so why aren't we playing Canadian rules.
1. The field we play on is to small, it should be longer and wider.
2. We should have 12 players on the field not 11.
3. There should be less turns

There probably are more rules that I'm over looking but these 3 i think are the main ones that should be changed. This is Canada and we should be playing by our rules. We Canadians are proud of our football and will kick any ones ass who says that our football is inferior to others. And if you don't like it go play back to your blood baseball and blood basketball, bunch of wussies if you ask me.

Stan "the man" Ditka
- Stan the man Ditka
Jan. 8th, 2015
Stans soapbox
Well true believes, we have another season about to start and I figured i would answer some fan mail I got over the offseason. Jerry Jones writes: I think that the dwarf team stinks, what do you think Stan?
Well JJ it is true that the dwarf team stinks but it is only because their coach stinks. A team is only as good as their coach. If you are talking about the odor, then yes they stink that way as well. Even their cheerleaders and fans stink.
Nancy Newton writes: Here comes da boom has gotta be smoking hot, do you know if he is single.
NN I can tell you that he is single, I don't think anyone in their right mind would ever date that ugly monstrosity. He is the result of Steve buscemi, Ron Perlman, and Kristen Stewart sharing a case of tequila down in Cuba one night. I shudder at the thought of that.
Terry Thornton writes: I heard that goblins taste like chicken, is this true?
I don't know if they do or not but because they were easier to kill then chickens during last season, they replaced the chicken nuggets with goblin on a stick in most arenas. At spider stadium they were going to make a stew out of the bombardier but no one could kill him.
Well that's all for now, until next time make mine marvel
Stan "the man" Ditka
- Stan the man Ditka
Apr. 1st, 2014
Now an MVP is suppose to be the Most Valuable Player. Today I've decided to make the leagues leading MVP even more valuable, or at least his head will be to some other team.
Congrats Harsk Bloodaxe the Troll Slayer of the Misty Mountain Revengers, your days are numbered. Get your funeral arrangements ready cause I'm sure there are a lot more people out there who want to see you die a most gruesome death.
- Stan the man Ditka
Mar. 27th, 2014
Spread the love
I've gotten a lot of responses from my little Rant the other day. Some of you have challenged me to games which I am getting my schedule worked out so I can smash my guys into your guys. And then some of you decide to put a bounty on the best receiver this league has seen so far. Well my response to that is, I'm going to share the love. I believe every team should have a bounty on at least one player and have set this as my goal for the remainder of the season. Win or lose after each game, I'm putting someone else's head up on the chopping block. This league needs more death, except for the goblins who I think kill themselves almost as much as everyone else kills them. I can only wonder when I put the bounty on their player will their team mutiny and kill that player to collect the money. We all know how money hungry those goblins are.
First up on the block is the Thrower for the Orange Bronco Crushers, Johnny E.
Who will be next?
- Stan the man Ditka
Mar. 22nd, 2014
Allstar break
Now that we have had the "All star",I know my guys were all stars, I don't know about some of the other players, game it seems like everyone has gone on vacation. Or maybe they are all just scared to die. Almost a week has gone by and only one game has been played. What a bunch of pansies. Go back to New York you bunch of pansies. This Blood Bowl. Get back on the field and bleed, except for the undead team, you just need to turn to dust, which is what The Mighty Marvels are going to do to all of you. With the "All Star" game behind us we are ready to crush every last one of you. You Orc teams think your so tough, you may be tough but stupid, you can barely find your way to the stadium. You elves think you are so smart and fast. Well come out of the trees and we shall see how fast you are with a broken leg. The dwarves, what's there to say about the dwarves that hasn't already been said except you're a bunch of losers which I've already proven right after the "All Star" game, 3-1 ass kicking. The Undead, you guys didn't seem so tough during the "All Star" game. I believe my guys made you see stars from the side lines when we knocked you out. As for you lizards, lets just put it this way, i expect my team to have some new boots when I'm done with you guys. Think I will have to pick up an elf for that game so he can cobble up those boots for my while we play. I'm ready to kick your odd shaped asses all Regina. If you can't handle it, maybe you should play with Darian Durant. And if I missed any of you. Let me know, I'll have no problem stomping you.
- Stan the man Ditka
Mar. 17th, 2014
Drunk Commish
I'm starting to agree with that guy that was coach that disappeared before The Princess took over for that really short team. The Commish is Drunk with power, or maybe just drunk. Why else would he come up with a rule that would handicap every other team but his and the Misty Mountain little people. Those 2 teams are always drunk. I don't think I've ever seen a dwarf with out a mug of ale in one of his hands. It's no wonder they never pass the ball. My humans may not be able to handle their beer as good as those drunken dwarves but we don't just stand there when we are drunk. Sure we don't wake streight, or pee streight, or meybe e ven talk so well, but dame it, I love you guys. You guys are the best. Hay who just touched me? Screw you guys. I';; take on every last 1 of u. Bunches of Jerks. Hey honey, how you doin'? Come here dutch cheese gives me kiss.
- Stan the man Ditka
Mar. 6th, 2014
Cheating Misty Mountain Revengers
Those dwarfs are a bunch of cheaters. How can you field only 10 guys on the opening drive and then 11 on the next one? Did this guy just magically appear? No the coach for the Misty Mountain Revengers was to chicken to play his player when he was suppose to. He was scared of losing his secret weapon and thus losing the game. Instead he had to resort to an illegal play. I think there should be either a do over of that game or that team should be penalized to use that player, such as they need to roll before the game to see if they can even be used. Just because you undid the laces of my catcher causing him to trip, don't think you can get away with more shenanigans by not fielding a full team. I call upon either the Big Un to crack down on these infractions or get Princess Patty to if she is trying to be the next commissioner. People that should be getting fractures aren't because of this.
- Stan the man Ditka
Mar. 2nd, 2014
Hulk no smash
Hulk Mad. Hulk want to smash. Hulk no smash. Why Hulk no smash? Should be able to smash puny humans. maybe Hulk smash lizards. Hulk think need to do Thing thing and have clobberin' time. Nah. HULK SMASH.
- Stan the man Ditka
Feb. 24th, 2014
Slimmed down
So the team has worked hard at training and eating at the wok box, and it seems to have paid off. They have slimmed down and now are much more in size with all the other teams, except that block team, I don't even know how those guys move. They have lost so much weight that there are now a bunch of extra guys that are able to ride the Mighty Marvel bus. They are all just waiting for their chance to play once some one dies.
- Stan the man Ditka
Feb. 11th, 2014
New stadium
The Mighty Marvels have a new stadium called Spider Stadium and it looks awesome. What originally was being worked on as the practice stadium has now become the home stadium for the team. Stan "the man" Ditka had this to say. "The contractor did a fantastic job of making our stadium for us and we think we will be scraping the original plans for our stadium and keep on using these practice stadium as our home stadium. It's the best looking stadium in the league other then the playoff stadium." The stadium has gotten such good reviews that the Misty Mountain Revengers,even though they lost to the Mighty Marvels in the stadiums first game, and the Redwood Dodgers are using it for their game against each other tonight. The contractor is also in talks with other teams to possible build more stadiums for other teams. These stadiums don't come cheap and this one cost the team owner an arm and a leg.
- Stan the man Ditka
Feb. 8th, 2014
New look to a new team.
With this being the first season for the Mighty Marvels we already know it's going to be tough road. There has been one exhibition game and was satisfied with how that went but when it came to the actual first game... Let's just say not all of what we hoped for had happened. We found out our playbook just isn't as good as we thought. Our players are tough enough for this league but we need to play better. We also found out our players are just to darn big. Those elves were able to run under us way to easy. So over the next few weeks we are going to workout out and eat a lot of WOK BOX to try and slim down this team. We've also got a new playbook in the works and hopefully we will be able to cause just as much damage to the other team as touchdowns scored. We are ready to play.
Stan "the man" Ditka
- Stan the man Ditka
The Mighty Marvels
Race:  Human
Coach:  The Ancient One

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