Unnatural Selections

Race:  Chaos Pact
Coach:  Lord Bulworth the Unnatural
Description

 
Unnatural Selections team badge
Bulletin board from the coach
Jan. 29th, 2017 - old news
What do I need?
The desperate cry of every forsaken bloodbowl coach. You need a 4. Or a 3 if you are an elf. Always! The modifiers are applied after the die roll. Always after! Never to the target number! For some crazy reason you may wish to try to calculate your target before rolling but doing so only results in frustration; as if your puny brain is some sort of super-computing-probability-matrix-calculating machine. It is NOT! The very fact that these target rolls cannot be calculated on-the-fly proves it is NOT. Furthermore, these target calculations anger the fickel gods (as well as your Lord Bulworth) and result in many more failures thus further disrupting the very calculations you are attempting. It is a scientific fact that 33% of the time 100% of target numbers are irrelevant. Just roll the dice. If you cannot calculate on-the-fly then what you are attempting is foolish and dangerous. Do not attempt foolish and dangerous things!

A further note on dodges into tackle zones. Target numbers in these situations are even more irrelevant. Only the stupid and desperate dodge into tackle zones. Assuming (probably falsely) that you are in a desperate situation, the target number is irrelevant because you only are attempting this because there is nothing else possible. In such a situation you must roll with certainty, faith and gusto knowing that there are no better solutions - the numbers are irrelevant. Do not tempt fate by trying to calculate what you must know are bad odds.

This why your Lord Bulworth succeeds(2516 champion, you know!) and others complain about the dice. It is not the dice! It is the stupid and fickel gods punishing you for your lack of faith. The fact that you were not born a Slann shows the degenerate gods already do not love you - do not push further against their good graces. What you need is faith.
- Lord Bulworth the Unnatural
 
 
Dec. 30th, 2016 - old news
O Treachery!
Behold! The next level in blood bowl domination. Behold, the Unnatural Selections! How does your Lord Bulworth come to command this motley ragtag band of mutants? Treachery!
Fearing a bleak future of dominance and defeat by your Lord Bulworth and His Mighty Slann, the lesser races of the league resorted to vile and underhanded tactics of the sort that were previously unfathomable. The last ditch enterprise of miserable peons, Democracy! They simply voted the Mighty Slann out of the league! Even the wretched humans feared the Slann enough to vote against their own best interests.
Now! Your Lord Bulworth has been driven to Chaos. Your Lord Bulworth finds Himself in a sort of Chaos Pact. They might be an ugly and worthless bunch but are already more than the equal of the rest of the pathetics that make up this league.
Dear fans of Slann, do not fear for your Lord Bulworth for he plans to bring Order to the Chaos and order to the chaos of the RFBBL. Furthermore, do not despair the loss of the Mighty Slann for they will be back. This, they assured your Lord Bulworth, as they boarded the glorious star cruisers to embark on the thousand year return journey to Slann Prime. They will be back. They will. In the meantime, your Lord Bulworth begins Year 2 of His thousand year dominance of blood bowl. Love the Slann! And Now, Love the Chaos!
- Lord Bulworth the Unnatural
 
 
 
Tournaments played:
'17 FlatlandCup
Trophies won:
Championship: '17 FlatlandCup

  

Notes
+100K 2517 FC 1st Place




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2517 Flatland Cup Champions
 
Silver - 2nd Place
 
Bronze - 3rd Place
 
2516 Dungeon Bowl ASG Winners
 
Most Dangerous Team
 
Fair Play Team
 
Wooden Spoon
 

 
 
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